How we became him & me plus 3

Somedays just seem to melt away with all that I have on my plate right now. I feed the twins, change the twins, dress the twins, then fed & dress their brother and by the time that's done I have to feed & change the twins again! But I love being a mom & wouldn't trade it for the world! I love being blessed with twins. I love my older son. We tried for so long to get pregnant and truthfully I had almost given up on having anymore kids when the twins came along. I spent exactly 36 weeks and 1 day wondering how I would be a mom to 3 kids after coming to terms with the fact the God just didn't want me to have anymore children. Now, even though sometimes it's crazy, I can't imagine doing anything else. This is the story of how my twins came to be.

Once it was determined that I have PCOS it all made sense. I needed medical help in order to add to my family. I went through tons of work ups & exams before it was decided I should try a medicine called Clomid. It's prescribed to women with PCOS b/c it helps get the body to release an egg. I went on the 1st round & nothing happened. It made me feel terrible & even still I was eager to start round 2. I had to take one med to make my period start (Provera) & then the Clomid to make me ovualate. Then we had to stick to a "schedule" for the next 2 wks to ensure the highest chance of sucess. Amazingly we got pregnant on round 2! We were so happy & we thought our prayers had been answered. Finally it was our time. But that joy didn't last long. At 9 weeks we went to an appointment for our 1st ultrasound & the baby had no heartbeat. I was devastated to say the least.

After such a heartbreak we decided to give it a break for awhile. It wasn't too long though before I was ready to give it another try. The Provera & Clomid routine became almost second nature as we went through rounds 3, 4, 5, 6, After all those were not successful I couldn't take the disappointment anymore. It was beginning to take over my ability to enjoy a lot of things. My sister & cousin had babies within a month of each other & all I could think about was how jealous & sad I was.

After a few months w/o the schedules, pills, & negative tests we decided to try it again. Just one more time, maybe twice tops. I wasn't ready to give up my hopes of having a baby with my loving husband or giving my son a sibling to grow up with. Round 7 came & went without any new developements. So I thought I could somehow get through one more round, just make sure it wasn't gonna happen before throwing in the towel. I finished the cycle of meds, stuck to the schedule, etc. But this time was different somehow. This time I was more relaxed. I wasn't sure it didn't work before even knowing it.

A week later then I should have started still no period. Not unusual for someone with PCOS so nothing to be too excited about. Then 2 weeks late. I started to have even higher hope then any other time. I finally gave in to my curiosity & took a home pregnancy test late at night. I took it late so that if it was negative again I could be upset in private while my husband slept. I didn't want him to be upset. waiting the 3 minutes was the longest 3 minutes of my life! After the time was up I thought I would vomit from the terror in my mind of another negative test. I walked over & looked at the stick.......it had two lines! two lines meant I was pregnant! No way, maybe I'm mistaken. I stared in disbelief. It finally happened.

From there it was a whirlwind roller coaster of emotions for me & my husband. Not even a week later I was so sick I couldn't even eat one bite without throwing up. I actually lost 15 lbs during the 1st trimester so I was sent to have an early ultrasound. I had no idea I'd be having an ultrasound so soon so I was alone that day. The chances of having twins with Clomid is 5%. naturally occuring twins is a 2% chance but b/c I was so sick the doctor wanted to make sure I wasn't having multiples. I layed there while the tech scanned me and at one point she said "I thought there were two sacs but I need to check again." WHAT?!?!? TWO sacs?!?!? Oh my God!!

She started scanning again and she points to the screen and says "See the baby right here and the heartbeat?" So I said "Then there is only 1 baby right?" She then slides the wand over & points to the screen again, "And here's the other baby, you're having twins!" What a shock!! After all that time I was given 2 babies at once! I was so amazed I cried and laughed at the same time. I left the scan as high as a kite with a picture of my 2 miracle babies in my hand. I immediately called my husband and I thought he was going to drop to the floor while on the phone with me! I am so so so greatful for all of my kids and that day, that whole pregnancy, delivery, and newborn twin experience will stay with me forever.

So when you want something so bad you can feel it with all your heart never give up! B/c if & when you start to think it won't happen it just might!

Motherhood quotes

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.  ~Oprah Winfrey

A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done.  ~Author Unknown

 

New year, new twins, new life!

So another year has come to an end and a new one has begun. Last year was an amazing one for sure! We found out in Feb 2010 that we were pregnant after 3 long years of trying & one miscarriage. In April we bought our first home & discovered that the little bundle I was carrying was actually TWO bundles!! By May we learned we were having a baby boy and a baby girl which amazes me still! My husband Chad & I celebrated our 3rd anniversary on Oct 3rd and I gave birth to our twins in Oct as well! Cameron, our oldest, turned 5 in Nov! It doesn't seem possible! They grow so fast, one minute they're so tiny & so fragile then the next they're running around the house, loud & full of curiosity about anything & everything! 

We were graced with so many blessings in one year that sometimes I feel like I will wake from this dream to find that none of it happened.

This year is likely to be just as wonderful as we watch our children grow & explore their world together. Cameron is our big boy & he took to being the big brother immediately, he loves the twins & has shown nothing but joy & admiration towards them. He even calls them "his twins"! The babies are Carter & Makayla. They are now just short of 3 months old already! It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant & begging for it to be over because I couldn't wait to meet them. (and b/c the pain of a twin pregnancy was almost unbearable) They smile, coo, & brighten every minute of my days. I feel so blessed to have been given the gift of two babies at once.

I look forward to thier first laugh, their first foods, & all the other milestones that are coming this year. I also look forward to Cameron sharing life with his new siblings growing & learning together. Meanwhile Chad & I are going to continue to enjoy our family & seize every opportunity to better our lives in any way possible. This year we're doing some remodeling projects for the house, we're planning a trip to Niagara Falls for Chad's 31st birthday, and we're going to find more time for each other. I'm so happy & so greatful for my family, my home, & the amazing life I have. 2011 may be the best year yet!