It still amazes me everyday when I wake up to my 3 beautiful babies. It's so surreal sometimes to think that I went from 1 kid to 3 all at once! It's only been 6 months but I feel like I've had all of them with me for a lot longer than that. It's just crazy that the twins are already have way through their first year and Cam is starting kindergarten this fall. They go from these tiny little babies to walking, talking, big kids so quickly! I find myself missing the newborn stage but so excited for them to move on to new things.
We have a great routine. The twins eat their first bottle around 7 am and then they go back to sleep until the next feeding around 10am! I send Cam off to school at 8:30 and after that I have time to do whatever until the twins wake back up. They're such good babies. Cam us doing so good too. His vocabulary has exploded and he is such a smart little man! Unfortuately his testing for kindergarten does not reflect that. His teachers don't want him to be in full time kindergarten. They want to do half special education and half kindergarten. They think he is lacking in communication and they can't be further from the truth! He speaks so well and he socializes with family, friends, and even strangers. I have meetings to discuss everything with them this month and they will not like what I have to say. But I have to tell them how wrong they are. He is as every bit as smart as any other kid there. He needs a little physical help but cognitively he is doing great, I just have to get them to see it.
Besides the normal daily grind of school, work, and babies our life is pretty much the same. The weekend of May 20th Chad and I are taking a much needed escape to Lake of the Ozarks. We're staying in a gorgeous hotel called the Lodges at the Four Seasons. I'm so excited to get out of town and have some alone time with Chad. It will be the first time we've left the twins for more than a few hours so I'm a bit nervous about that! I just hope with the help of my sister and my brother's girlfriend my mom won't get overwhelmed with them. Plus Cam is going to our aunt's house for the weekend so that will help take some of the load of my mom. haha......We always have a few endeavors that don't go well for us but we have a lot that is going well for us. And I'm so thankful for all that we do have.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Cameron's story (my oldest son's stroke & epilepsy details)
Cameron was born Nov 27th,2005 at 40 wks gestation. At birth the doctors said he was fine and pretty quickly I relaized he wasn't. He wouldn't sleep more then 30 mins at a time and he wouldn't eat more then an oz here and there. He kept making odd movements where he would move his lil fists back and forth quickly toward his chest over and over then it would stop for awhile and then happen again. I called the doctor and nurse in to see it several times but they never saw it til the day after he was born. So 4 am 16 hrs after being born a nurse finally saw him do what I had been describing and it was diagnosed then that he had been seizing the whole time!! I was so upset and scared. He was life flighted to Children's Mercy where we found out he had a masive stroke in uetero due to blod clots in both carotoid arteries. It wasn't caught in ultrasounds b/c he had the stroke just about a week before I had him.
Cam spent 2 weeks in the NICU where he was started on seizure meds. He had a feeding tube for awhile and even a few sleep apnea spells. The doctors told us if he lived it would be a miracle and that he would never walk, talk, or recognize anyone if he did make it past 48 hrs old. I was so sad and so heartbroken. The thought of him dying at just a few days old or being incapable of a "normal" life made me so depressed. I was also a 1st time mom and only 20 yrs old. After a few days of the seizure med he stopped seizing and got off the oxygen about a week later. He also started to nipple feed and the tube was taken out after about a wk. He came home just before Christmas 2005.
After that he was pretty much a regular newborn and didn't seize again until the neuro tried to wean him at 6 months. He started seizing again after only about a day into weaning so we went back to the children's hospital and he had an EEG and EKG. The neuro started him on Trileptil to help control the seizures. He was also diagnosed with infantile spasms at the time. The neuro prescribed ACTH injections for the spasms and I had to administer them every day for 2 months. The shot stopped the spasms and we were then swithced to Topmax which the neuro thought was better for a long term solution to the seizuers. Cameron is now 5 and has been seizure free for about 4 years!! I'm so proud of him and all that he has made it through.
He started early childhood pre school at age 3 so he could do physical therapy, occupational therapy &speech. He has become so expressive since starting pre school. His speech has blossomed and he is in the average range on his speech compared to other 5 yrs olds. He continues to work on his left sided weakness in therapy since he has limited left hand usage.
He is now getting ready for kindergarten this fall. I'm so nervous about him starting elementary school! I want so much for him to just be treated like a normal little boy! I don't know if he gets to be in the kindergarten class full time or part time in class and part time special education but I'm so emotional about it. I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I hate the word SPECIAL! I think so many ppl say it as an insult or to make fun of people and I just want my son to be the best he can be and to be treated with dignity and respect. The older he is and more aware he is I worry about how the world will treat him and it breaks my heart.
He is a sweet, smart, onry little miracle boy and I love him so so much!! I guess I don't see my son as special needs. He has always been and always will be a normal little boy to me and I see no reason to make him think he has any limitations. I am in no way ashamed of him, I guess it's just hard for me to accept why this happened to him or why it happens to any kid at all. I would give my life for my son to be able to live a full and happy life without the cruelness of others. And now with Elementary school approaching I realize I may need to reach out to others in order to make his transition as easy as possible.
Cam spent 2 weeks in the NICU where he was started on seizure meds. He had a feeding tube for awhile and even a few sleep apnea spells. The doctors told us if he lived it would be a miracle and that he would never walk, talk, or recognize anyone if he did make it past 48 hrs old. I was so sad and so heartbroken. The thought of him dying at just a few days old or being incapable of a "normal" life made me so depressed. I was also a 1st time mom and only 20 yrs old. After a few days of the seizure med he stopped seizing and got off the oxygen about a week later. He also started to nipple feed and the tube was taken out after about a wk. He came home just before Christmas 2005.
After that he was pretty much a regular newborn and didn't seize again until the neuro tried to wean him at 6 months. He started seizing again after only about a day into weaning so we went back to the children's hospital and he had an EEG and EKG. The neuro started him on Trileptil to help control the seizures. He was also diagnosed with infantile spasms at the time. The neuro prescribed ACTH injections for the spasms and I had to administer them every day for 2 months. The shot stopped the spasms and we were then swithced to Topmax which the neuro thought was better for a long term solution to the seizuers. Cameron is now 5 and has been seizure free for about 4 years!! I'm so proud of him and all that he has made it through.
He started early childhood pre school at age 3 so he could do physical therapy, occupational therapy &speech. He has become so expressive since starting pre school. His speech has blossomed and he is in the average range on his speech compared to other 5 yrs olds. He continues to work on his left sided weakness in therapy since he has limited left hand usage.
He is now getting ready for kindergarten this fall. I'm so nervous about him starting elementary school! I want so much for him to just be treated like a normal little boy! I don't know if he gets to be in the kindergarten class full time or part time in class and part time special education but I'm so emotional about it. I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I hate the word SPECIAL! I think so many ppl say it as an insult or to make fun of people and I just want my son to be the best he can be and to be treated with dignity and respect. The older he is and more aware he is I worry about how the world will treat him and it breaks my heart.
He is a sweet, smart, onry little miracle boy and I love him so so much!! I guess I don't see my son as special needs. He has always been and always will be a normal little boy to me and I see no reason to make him think he has any limitations. I am in no way ashamed of him, I guess it's just hard for me to accept why this happened to him or why it happens to any kid at all. I would give my life for my son to be able to live a full and happy life without the cruelness of others. And now with Elementary school approaching I realize I may need to reach out to others in order to make his transition as easy as possible.
Friday, January 14, 2011
How we became him & me plus 3
Somedays just seem to melt away with all that I have on my plate right now. I feed the twins, change the twins, dress the twins, then fed & dress their brother and by the time that's done I have to feed & change the twins again! But I love being a mom & wouldn't trade it for the world! I love being blessed with twins. I love my older son. We tried for so long to get pregnant and truthfully I had almost given up on having anymore kids when the twins came along. I spent exactly 36 weeks and 1 day wondering how I would be a mom to 3 kids after coming to terms with the fact the God just didn't want me to have anymore children. Now, even though sometimes it's crazy, I can't imagine doing anything else. This is the story of how my twins came to be.
Once it was determined that I have PCOS it all made sense. I needed medical help in order to add to my family. I went through tons of work ups & exams before it was decided I should try a medicine called Clomid. It's prescribed to women with PCOS b/c it helps get the body to release an egg. I went on the 1st round & nothing happened. It made me feel terrible & even still I was eager to start round 2. I had to take one med to make my period start (Provera) & then the Clomid to make me ovualate. Then we had to stick to a "schedule" for the next 2 wks to ensure the highest chance of sucess. Amazingly we got pregnant on round 2! We were so happy & we thought our prayers had been answered. Finally it was our time. But that joy didn't last long. At 9 weeks we went to an appointment for our 1st ultrasound & the baby had no heartbeat. I was devastated to say the least.
After such a heartbreak we decided to give it a break for awhile. It wasn't too long though before I was ready to give it another try. The Provera & Clomid routine became almost second nature as we went through rounds 3, 4, 5, 6, After all those were not successful I couldn't take the disappointment anymore. It was beginning to take over my ability to enjoy a lot of things. My sister & cousin had babies within a month of each other & all I could think about was how jealous & sad I was.
After a few months w/o the schedules, pills, & negative tests we decided to try it again. Just one more time, maybe twice tops. I wasn't ready to give up my hopes of having a baby with my loving husband or giving my son a sibling to grow up with. Round 7 came & went without any new developements. So I thought I could somehow get through one more round, just make sure it wasn't gonna happen before throwing in the towel. I finished the cycle of meds, stuck to the schedule, etc. But this time was different somehow. This time I was more relaxed. I wasn't sure it didn't work before even knowing it.
A week later then I should have started still no period. Not unusual for someone with PCOS so nothing to be too excited about. Then 2 weeks late. I started to have even higher hope then any other time. I finally gave in to my curiosity & took a home pregnancy test late at night. I took it late so that if it was negative again I could be upset in private while my husband slept. I didn't want him to be upset. waiting the 3 minutes was the longest 3 minutes of my life! After the time was up I thought I would vomit from the terror in my mind of another negative test. I walked over & looked at the stick.......it had two lines! two lines meant I was pregnant! No way, maybe I'm mistaken. I stared in disbelief. It finally happened.
From there it was a whirlwind roller coaster of emotions for me & my husband. Not even a week later I was so sick I couldn't even eat one bite without throwing up. I actually lost 15 lbs during the 1st trimester so I was sent to have an early ultrasound. I had no idea I'd be having an ultrasound so soon so I was alone that day. The chances of having twins with Clomid is 5%. naturally occuring twins is a 2% chance but b/c I was so sick the doctor wanted to make sure I wasn't having multiples. I layed there while the tech scanned me and at one point she said "I thought there were two sacs but I need to check again." WHAT?!?!? TWO sacs?!?!? Oh my God!!
She started scanning again and she points to the screen and says "See the baby right here and the heartbeat?" So I said "Then there is only 1 baby right?" She then slides the wand over & points to the screen again, "And here's the other baby, you're having twins!" What a shock!! After all that time I was given 2 babies at once! I was so amazed I cried and laughed at the same time. I left the scan as high as a kite with a picture of my 2 miracle babies in my hand. I immediately called my husband and I thought he was going to drop to the floor while on the phone with me! I am so so so greatful for all of my kids and that day, that whole pregnancy, delivery, and newborn twin experience will stay with me forever.
So when you want something so bad you can feel it with all your heart never give up! B/c if & when you start to think it won't happen it just might!
Once it was determined that I have PCOS it all made sense. I needed medical help in order to add to my family. I went through tons of work ups & exams before it was decided I should try a medicine called Clomid. It's prescribed to women with PCOS b/c it helps get the body to release an egg. I went on the 1st round & nothing happened. It made me feel terrible & even still I was eager to start round 2. I had to take one med to make my period start (Provera) & then the Clomid to make me ovualate. Then we had to stick to a "schedule" for the next 2 wks to ensure the highest chance of sucess. Amazingly we got pregnant on round 2! We were so happy & we thought our prayers had been answered. Finally it was our time. But that joy didn't last long. At 9 weeks we went to an appointment for our 1st ultrasound & the baby had no heartbeat. I was devastated to say the least.
After such a heartbreak we decided to give it a break for awhile. It wasn't too long though before I was ready to give it another try. The Provera & Clomid routine became almost second nature as we went through rounds 3, 4, 5, 6, After all those were not successful I couldn't take the disappointment anymore. It was beginning to take over my ability to enjoy a lot of things. My sister & cousin had babies within a month of each other & all I could think about was how jealous & sad I was.
After a few months w/o the schedules, pills, & negative tests we decided to try it again. Just one more time, maybe twice tops. I wasn't ready to give up my hopes of having a baby with my loving husband or giving my son a sibling to grow up with. Round 7 came & went without any new developements. So I thought I could somehow get through one more round, just make sure it wasn't gonna happen before throwing in the towel. I finished the cycle of meds, stuck to the schedule, etc. But this time was different somehow. This time I was more relaxed. I wasn't sure it didn't work before even knowing it.
A week later then I should have started still no period. Not unusual for someone with PCOS so nothing to be too excited about. Then 2 weeks late. I started to have even higher hope then any other time. I finally gave in to my curiosity & took a home pregnancy test late at night. I took it late so that if it was negative again I could be upset in private while my husband slept. I didn't want him to be upset. waiting the 3 minutes was the longest 3 minutes of my life! After the time was up I thought I would vomit from the terror in my mind of another negative test. I walked over & looked at the stick.......it had two lines! two lines meant I was pregnant! No way, maybe I'm mistaken. I stared in disbelief. It finally happened.
From there it was a whirlwind roller coaster of emotions for me & my husband. Not even a week later I was so sick I couldn't even eat one bite without throwing up. I actually lost 15 lbs during the 1st trimester so I was sent to have an early ultrasound. I had no idea I'd be having an ultrasound so soon so I was alone that day. The chances of having twins with Clomid is 5%. naturally occuring twins is a 2% chance but b/c I was so sick the doctor wanted to make sure I wasn't having multiples. I layed there while the tech scanned me and at one point she said "I thought there were two sacs but I need to check again." WHAT?!?!? TWO sacs?!?!? Oh my God!!
She started scanning again and she points to the screen and says "See the baby right here and the heartbeat?" So I said "Then there is only 1 baby right?" She then slides the wand over & points to the screen again, "And here's the other baby, you're having twins!" What a shock!! After all that time I was given 2 babies at once! I was so amazed I cried and laughed at the same time. I left the scan as high as a kite with a picture of my 2 miracle babies in my hand. I immediately called my husband and I thought he was going to drop to the floor while on the phone with me! I am so so so greatful for all of my kids and that day, that whole pregnancy, delivery, and newborn twin experience will stay with me forever.
So when you want something so bad you can feel it with all your heart never give up! B/c if & when you start to think it won't happen it just might!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Motherhood quotes
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren
Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. ~Oprah Winfrey
A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done. ~Author Unknown
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren
Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. ~Oprah Winfrey
A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done. ~Author Unknown
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
New year, new twins, new life!
So another year has come to an end and a new one has begun. Last year was an amazing one for sure! We found out in Feb 2010 that we were pregnant after 3 long years of trying & one miscarriage. In April we bought our first home & discovered that the little bundle I was carrying was actually TWO bundles!! By May we learned we were having a baby boy and a baby girl which amazes me still! My husband Chad & I celebrated our 3rd anniversary on Oct 3rd and I gave birth to our twins in Oct as well! Cameron, our oldest, turned 5 in Nov! It doesn't seem possible! They grow so fast, one minute they're so tiny & so fragile then the next they're running around the house, loud & full of curiosity about anything & everything!
We were graced with so many blessings in one year that sometimes I feel like I will wake from this dream to find that none of it happened.
This year is likely to be just as wonderful as we watch our children grow & explore their world together. Cameron is our big boy & he took to being the big brother immediately, he loves the twins & has shown nothing but joy & admiration towards them. He even calls them "his twins"! The babies are Carter & Makayla. They are now just short of 3 months old already! It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant & begging for it to be over because I couldn't wait to meet them. (and b/c the pain of a twin pregnancy was almost unbearable) They smile, coo, & brighten every minute of my days. I feel so blessed to have been given the gift of two babies at once.
I look forward to thier first laugh, their first foods, & all the other milestones that are coming this year. I also look forward to Cameron sharing life with his new siblings growing & learning together. Meanwhile Chad & I are going to continue to enjoy our family & seize every opportunity to better our lives in any way possible. This year we're doing some remodeling projects for the house, we're planning a trip to Niagara Falls for Chad's 31st birthday, and we're going to find more time for each other. I'm so happy & so greatful for my family, my home, & the amazing life I have. 2011 may be the best year yet!
We were graced with so many blessings in one year that sometimes I feel like I will wake from this dream to find that none of it happened.
This year is likely to be just as wonderful as we watch our children grow & explore their world together. Cameron is our big boy & he took to being the big brother immediately, he loves the twins & has shown nothing but joy & admiration towards them. He even calls them "his twins"! The babies are Carter & Makayla. They are now just short of 3 months old already! It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant & begging for it to be over because I couldn't wait to meet them. (and b/c the pain of a twin pregnancy was almost unbearable) They smile, coo, & brighten every minute of my days. I feel so blessed to have been given the gift of two babies at once.
I look forward to thier first laugh, their first foods, & all the other milestones that are coming this year. I also look forward to Cameron sharing life with his new siblings growing & learning together. Meanwhile Chad & I are going to continue to enjoy our family & seize every opportunity to better our lives in any way possible. This year we're doing some remodeling projects for the house, we're planning a trip to Niagara Falls for Chad's 31st birthday, and we're going to find more time for each other. I'm so happy & so greatful for my family, my home, & the amazing life I have. 2011 may be the best year yet!
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